Bugs Bread

Photo: flickr user dbking

Ingredients

cup water

2 cups bread flour

1 tablespoon nonfat milk solids (dry milk to you probably)

1 tablespoon brown sugar

1 teaspoon salt

teaspoon yeast

1 tablespoon melted butter

1 teaspoon dill weed

4 mediums carrots peeled (4 to 5)

Preparation

Preparing the carrots:Peel and wash the carrots. Coarsely grate 2 1/2 (about 2/3c.) and set aside. Chop 1/2 into thin slices. Add 1/2 to the water in a blender and puree. Eat 1 for inspiration.

Mixing:Add the yeast to the water and stir. Mix together the other dry ingredients, including the remaining carrots, holding back a cup of flour. Add the liquid and stir well, adding flour as needed until kneadable, and then knead until smooth and soft with the help of further flour. If you chopped the carrots too coarsely, they may begin popping out as you knead and have to be removed. This is hardly a tragedy, though, as you will find that even the dough is delicious.

Rising:Place dough in a lightly-oiled bowl, cover, and set aside to rise for about an hour. When doubled, punch down and place in a loaf pan (This recipe won't fill many pans, but it can be scaled up to 1.5# simply by multiplying all ingredients by 1.5. You may have to go easy on the carrots), with buttered or oiled sides and oatmeal-dusted bottom (this is my own invention. It seems to prevent sticking like nothing else I've ever tried, and unlike the icky flour that adheres to the bottom of some things, the oats are baked crisp and find the lower bound of their taste at neutral.), and again cover to rise until doubled. Bake in a 350F-degree oven for about 50 minutes, possibly longer if you like your bread

Amusement while baking:Tell people you're making carrot bread and explode when they reveal they're expecting a pound cake. Tell them the bread has "weed" in it and watch them get a psychosomatic marijuana high. Or don't say anything at all, and when you slice into the loaf shout, "Damn phytoplankton got into the flour again."

Counterindications:If you eat more than one or two loaves, you may have to reassure your doctor that you don't have hepatitis. On the bright side, carotinemia is completely unrelated to anemic iron deficiency, and is in fact completely benign. Discontinue use if you die - you've had your chance.

Kilocalories: 144Nutrients: 0-100%% DV vitamin C (still seeking info on decomposition/oxidatio= n)

NOTES : Handmaking instructions follow, or toss in the machine on White without a single other change. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!